Bromance
by Karkalicious769
Summary: John and Dave have never met before and don't even know where the other lives or what the other looks like aside from some hints dropped here and there, but when a freak "accident" lands John in the hospital and Dave shows up to comfort him, will the two finally admit their homosexual feelings or is it already to late anyway? TW: Contains several other side ships.
1. In Which The Term 'Knight' Is Literal

**Okay, chapter one for the win!**

_John; Friday; Present_

Even though his alarm went off at 6: 30 am on the dot every morning, the universe had taken to bothering John by making him wake up just before it went off so that he could experience the full annoyance of the high, shrill ring that he had thought would be funny when he first got it. God, he was an idiot. This was so not funny.  
Shoving his alarm clock of his end table, John groaned, smothering his face in a pillow to block out the sound and get a few more solid minutes of sleep in before school. And, like every day, his plan failed miserably and he forced himself to yank the blanket back. The air in his room was always cold in the winter, even more so since John slept in his boxers, but he barely noticed anymore. Grabbing the ever-loud alarm from the floor, John forced his window open, stifling a yawn but shivering at the sudden chill. John noticed that it had snowed again last night and that everything looked white and shimmering, though he really didn't care.  
Not even blinking, John chucked the alarm as hard as he could at the tree just outside his window, causing heaps of snow to fall off the branches. With a detached interest, he watched the alarm seemed too exploded upon impact and the pile of plastic at the foot of tree grew. It was probably a bad habit to break your alarm clocks, but, again, John really didn't care.  
Satisfied with his morning routine, John clicked the window back into place (making a mental note to get a new alarm) and turned to get ready for school.  
Randomly grabbing the first outfit he saw, John made his way to the bathroom, being careful not to look in any of the mirrors that his dad had recently decorated the hallway with. In the bathroom, he carefully locked the door behind him and turned the water as hot as it could go, not caring if he blistered his skin. So, waiting until steam clogged the room, John turned his attention to the object of his weariness, the bruises and marks he had received yesterday. He looked down at his chest and absentmindedly traced the bright purple and blue bruises located there. John also had quite a bit of them on his stomach, sides, and up and down his legs.  
Finally deeming the shower hot and happy to think about something else, John stepped in, his sore muscles relaxing as soon as the water touched them. Though John had always been the "dork" in school that everyone picked one, it wasn't until his freshman year of high school that things grew physical. The sports teams seemed to have come to a mutual agreement about who gets to pick on John and when. And, though he noticed no real pattern, it seemed that the football and hockey teams hated him the most. John really didn't want to leave the shower today. They had both lost their games yesterday and would no doubt take it out on John, as they always did.  
So, knowing that it was pointless to avoid them, John turned the water off, missing its warmth immediately. Pulling back the curtain, John saw that his bathroom was filled to the brim and then some with steam. He was grateful, the more steam, the warmer the bathroom was. So he grabbed a fluffy towel of the nearby rack and got ready for school.  
John wasn't sure how he did it, especially with the way his muscles protested with every movement, but somehow he found himself downstairs, munching half-heartedly on a bowl of Fruit Loops. Normally, he would have just enough time to say goodbye to his dad before he for school, but lately his dad had been putting in more hours than usual.  
John sighed, not having the energy to force the unappetizing cereal down anymore. He put his bowl in the sink and trudged upstairs to spend some more time on Pesterchum before school.  
These days, his only allies seemed to be a group of people whom he hadn't even met. It was sad, but as John powered up his laptop, he realized that it really didn't matter. At least someone cared if he went more than a day without speaking to them.  
Logging into Pesterchum, a quick glance told John that only Dave was on right now. John smiled. He always enjoyed talking to Dave, who usually always seemed to be on right when John needed him.

\- ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead at 7: 23 -

EB: sup dave  
TG: john, just stop  
TG: stop that shit right now  
EB: what  
TG: I say 'sup'  
TG: not egderp  
TG: also, I can tell your trying to be cool  
TG: stop  
EB: what, you think I can't be cool  
EB: is that it  
TG: no comment  
TG: but yes  
EB: fine  
EB: I gotta get to school  
EB: talk to you later

\- ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 7: 29 -

John sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He considered Dave his closest friend but sometimes he really got on John's nerves. The "cool kid" thing Dave always did was getting old. Remembering why he got off his computer in the first place, John shrugged on his coat and forced his old snow boots onto his feet. Grabbing his backpack off its hook by the door, John stepped outside warily, not at all prepared for school today.  
At least his dad had finally gotten him a car. The pick-up truck was old and rusting under the ugly blue paint and the seat belts had long since been removed, but at least it was his. Plus, it gave him an extra minute before he had to put up with the jocks, who usually ambushed him as soon as he entered school property. And, at least for now, nobody knew the car was his.  
Luckily, the universe seemed apologetic over the events of the morning, and John pulled into the school just as the bell rang (he would have been there sooner but was driving extra slowly). The jocks were determined, but they had been late to many times and detention would defiantly cut into practice time.  
Sprinting in the hallways and dodging students here and there, John made it to his locker out of breath, but one look at the clock confirmed his thought. He had broken his record, 27 seconds. John grabbed his stuff out of his locker with a grin on his face. Maybe the universe would spare him today.

Approximately four hours, twenty minutes and forty-two seconds later (but, I mean, who's counting) and John discovered that the universe was really a sneaky, conniving spider-bitch that had set him up for failure and lured him into her web with a false sense of security and promises of happiness.  
"What's wrong Egderp?" One of the hockey players, a blonde, brown-eyed boy named Cameron Orahood, the team captain, teased, picking John up by his shirt collar and slamming him harshly against the lockers. "Not gonna struggle at all today, even though it's just me?" This guy obviously thought John was stupid and easily offended and, though he had sworn not to react (as that would give his bully satisfaction), John flinched visibly under Cameron's ever tightening grip at the use of Dave's favorite nickname for him. In all honesty though, he was just shocked that Cameron had enough brain cells to think of a name like that.  
Taking John's reaction the wrong way, Cameron grinned evilly and twisted John's green ghost slime t-shirt in his grip tighter, partially cutting of the smaller boy's oxygen.  
"Aw, did I hit a nerve Egderp?" he sneered, suddenly releasing his captive, who fell to the floor in an unceremonious heap. Before John had a chance to find his footing, Cameron pulled his foot back and kicked John as hard as possible in the stomach with his pointy toed "ass-kicking boots." Not even caring about John wiggling and moaning in pain on the floor, he swung his foot forward again and again, not even paying attention to where he hit, hearing his foot collide with metal often.  
"Thought you-" _kick _"-could get-" _kick_ "-away with-" _kick_ "avoiding us?" Cameron demanded. After another minute of relentless kicking, Cameron, sweating heavily and panting slightly, stopped and jeered at the crumpled, bloody heap on the floor. "See you in class." _kick _Laughing, Cameron walked away from John, who was still conscious but in severe pain.  
After making sure that no one was coming and wallowing in pain and self-pity for a little while longer, John slowly pulled himself off the ground and stumbled. For "some reason", his vision was blurring and he felt extremely light-headed. The black and white tiled floor blurred underneath him and the blue steel lockers twisted into the wall, making the corridor stretch into black nothingness. Wincing at the sudden flash of pain in his chest, John used the locker for support and slowly made his way to his history class, determined to not be late. Thankfully, the room was close.  
Somehow, John managed to get to his class without tripping and falling, though he felt the ground twisting and bucking under him with every forced step. The logical part of his brain told him that this wasn't normal, but John was in no mood to think with logic at the current time.  
Opening the unusually heavy door, John realized his mistake fairly quickly. It was defiantly the right room, but Ms. Crocker was already half-way through today's lecture by the looks of things. But when he opened the door, the room went deathly quiet. John didn't know how he looked after that beating he took, but it was clearly pretty funny as some girls in the back were giggling softly.  
"John?" Ms. Crocker asked, her voice coming out distant but worried. But John didn't understand why she would be worried, he was fine. "John?" she tried again, moving hesitantly towards him. John shook his head, trying to clear his head but only making things worse. "John, are you okay?" Ms. Crocker put a hand on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to reassure her, but instead fell to his knees as a violent coughing fit wracked his body. John covered his mouth with a hand, and immediately felt his skin moisten. God, he hoped it wasn't drool; that would be so embarrassing. But when he moved his hand away to inspect it, John was shocked to see that it was dripping with red fluid. He assumed it was blood, but the reality of the fact didn't click in John's foggy mind. Looking, up he realized that everyone was looking at him with a mixture of horror and panic, even Ms. Crocker had gradually backed away. John glanced down only to see a tiny but growing puddle of blood soaking the blue shaggy carpet. The sensible part of his mind told him that he should probably worry, as this was incredibly alarming, but before John could dissect his thoughts any further, the world lurched violently under him and suddenly all he could see was red.  
He was unconscious before he hit the ground.

_Dave; Monday; 11:23 am; Present_

Dave rested his head in his hands and sighed. He hadn't heard from John in over three days, and, though most people wouldn't worry, John always made sure to pester him every day no matter what the circumstance. At first, Dave had just assumed that John was avoiding him, but Jade and Rose shared that John hadn't contacted them either.  
Worried and feeling slightly desperate, Dave pulled on his phone and scrolled through all his Pesterchum messages with John, looking for - there! A phone number. Dave guessed he must have over-looked earlier. Not hesitating and feeling rather anxious and angry now, he quickly entered the number and let it ring. After the fourth tone, Dave thought that John wouldn't answer. Then, at the last moment, he heard the tone cut off as someone answered. Feeling his anger bubble over, Dave blew his cool and immediately began lecturing John. "JOHN FUCKING EGBERT, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" he demanded, not caring how he sounded. "YOU'VE HAD ME, JADE, AND EVEN ROSE WORRIED SICK! WE'VE BEEN PESTERING YOU FOR DAYS! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD FUCKING EXPLAINATION FOR YOUR DOUCHEBAG DISAPPEARANCE!"  
"Please clam down," Came the reply through the phone. Dave was even angrier. After his behavior, John had the nerve to tell him to "calm down"?  
"CALM DOWN!? YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST- hold on," Dave's tone changed completely. That voice was way too mature and respectable to be John. "That wasn't John's voice, who is this?"  
"This is John's father."  
"Oh," Dave replied stupidly, coming down after his rant, "Can I talk to John then?"  
"I'm afraid not."  
"What, why?"  
"I'm sorry to tell you, but an unfortunate "accident" happened at school and landed John in the hospital."  
Dave almost dropped the phone. "I'm sorry," he said, laughing awkwardly, "but did you say that John was in the hospital?"  
"Yes. He'll be fine I assure you, but he's been knocked out from the drugs they gave him and probably won't be available until tomorrow."  
Leaning back in his chair, Dave sighed heavily and pushed his hair away from his forehead. "Okay. Thank you, sir. I'll just… try again tomorrow." Dave responded half-heartedly.  
"I think that would be for the best. Good-bye." The line went dead. Dropping his phone carelessly onto the side table, Dave lay back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, trying to wrap his mind around this latest development. Feeling slightly numb but deciding that Rose and Jade deserved to know, he quickly pulled up Pesterchum and started a chat.

\- turntechGodhead began pestering gardenGnostic at 11: 42 am -

TG: sup jade  
TG: I got news on john  
GG: really?! :D  
TG: yeah, but you already knew that  
GG: yes, but I didn't know what was wrong! :/  
TG: whatever  
TG: anyway, it appears that our beloved egderp is in the hospital  
GG: oh no, that's horrible!  
GG: like your nickname for him.  
GG: what happened?  
TG: …  
TG: I'll ignore that nickname comment for now  
TG: apparently, there was an "accident" at his school  
TG: accident my ass  
GG: you think someone did it on purpose?  
GG: but that's so cruel!  
TG: 100% positive  
TG: anyway, I gotta go tell rose  
TG: I'll text you later

\- turntechGodhead ceased pestering gardenGnostic at 11: 53 am -

Feeling slightly overwhelmed after the chat, Dave pressed his cell phone to his forehead. Damn, not even Jade could have anticipated something like this. Hardening his resolve, Dave stood up and stretched, sighing with happiness and relief as his bones cracked. Feeling much better, he reclaimed his spot on the couch and began pestering Rose.

\- turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist at 11: 55 am -

TG: sup rose  
TG: have you talked to jade yet  
TT: No, unfortunately, thought I do have the great honor of conversing with you instead.  
TT: I assume this is about John?  
TG: no shit  
TG: of course it is  
TG: i found out that he's in the hospital  
TT: That is awful, what happened to him?  
TG: an "accident" at school apparently  
TT: I take it that based on your use of air quotes, you believe this was done on purpose.  
TG: yeah, I do  
TG: once, john accidentally slipped and told me he was being bullied at school  
TG: this was not a goddamned "accident"  
TT: I see. And how did you react to this news? More importantly, who told you?  
TG: no rose  
TG: I'm not going to put up with your mind probing today  
TG: but if it really matters, john's dad told me over the phone  
TT: Interesting.  
TG: is that all?  
TT: Yes, that is a sufficient amount of "mind probing", as you put it, for today. Though, do keep me updated on John's condition.  
TG: will do, captain  
TG: till next time

\- turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 12:08 pm -

_John; Tuesday; 10: 27 am_

John sighed heavily and placed his chin on his hand, staring out the window of his hospital room vacantly. The doctor said he would be going home tomorrow, good as new. That was great and all, but John didn't really want to, as going home means going back to school, and he wasn't mentally prepared yet.  
"John?" the nurse, Eva, said politely, coming into the room. "A young man is outside demanding to see you."  
John raised an eyebrow. "Who is it?" As far as he remembered, he didn't have many friends, and the few he did have lived far away.  
She shook her head, the black waves of her long hair whipping her face. "He wouldn't give a last name, but said he was Dave."  
Subconsciously straightening his spine, John grinned widely. "Really?!" he asked, feeling like a three year old on a sugar high, "Please, let him in!"  
Eva nodded slowly and left without a sound, though John suspected she wasn't happy with his decision. He didn't care though, he was too excited. John couldn't believe that Dave had come out to see him in the hospital. True, they had talked on the phone about an hour ago, but this was the first time they would see each other in real life. He could not be any happier.  
"John." Came Dave's voice. For a normal person, that probably would have been a question, but Dave wasn't normal.  
"Dave?" John replied, looking over at him. For a few moments, the two bros silently assessed one another. Dave was tall, probably 6 feet at least and walked with an air of strong confidence surrounding him. Look wise, John thought he looked similar to how he had always imagined, but way hotter. Dave was tan and wearing a red and white long-sleeved shirt with a picture of a disc on it and loose fitting black jeans hid his legs from view. He was blonde and looked as if he hadn't bothered checking the mirror before he left the house, assuming his hair would be perfect anyway, which it was, but John totally didn't notice. John couldn't see Dave's eyes through his shades but assumed they were either green or blue.  
While all this played through John's mind, Dave silently assessed his shorter friend, who looked nowhere near how Dave had imagined him, but better in a way, though he appeared to be only 5 ½ feet. He wore a plain white hospital gown and was absolutely adorable in that cute, innocent, dorky kinda way and Dave immediately blushed at the thought, glad his shades hid that fact from his friend. John had pale, flawless skin which looked even whiter pressed against the hospital sheets though it majorly brought out his soft-looking, messy raven hair. Dave found himself studying John rather intently, and couldn't help but think about how cute John's slight overbite was.  
Shaking his head in order to force away some *cough* thoughts about Dave, John grinned and motioned for his friend to take a seat in the chair next to him. And, though he kept his face neutral, John somehow knew that Dave was happy to be here.  
Not liking awkward silences, John didn't even wait for Dave to sit down before questioning him.  
"How did you find me?" He blurted out. Raising an eyebrow, Dave waited a moment before answering. "Well, I'm happy to see you too, Egbert." Blushing, and feeling slightly flustered, John gripped the blankets tightly out of habit, "No, I am happy to see you Dave, but I never told you were I was. How did you get here?" He clarified. Dave was silent again. John figured that he only did that to seem "aloof". "Honestly? I gave my phone to Bro and he managed to track the location of the last call I made, which, luckily, happened to be to your phone." He finally answered.  
"Whoa, I didn't know your Bro could do that!" John exclaimed, sitting up straight. Dave laughed at his derpy friends' behavior.  
"Yeah, he's pretty cool." He agreed.  
"But is he ironic?" John teased, wagging his eyebrows.  
Dave laughed again despite himself, and for the next few hours, he and John talked about nothing and everything. From smuppets to what sport teams they liked, the two talked and talked until visiting hours were over. They both had expected this visit to be awkward but the conversation flowed easily, laughing and blushing in all the right places. Dave and John were so happy in fact, that they had barely noticed the time passing until Eva knocked on the door, smiling and looking much happier than the last time John had seen her.  
"Sorry to interrupt you two," she apologized, "but visiting hours are over." Groaning, Dave complied and got up and walked to the door.  
"Dave, wait!" John called from his spot on the bed. Dave stopped walking in recognition but didn't turn around. Damn cool kids. "When can we hang out again?" he questioned, hoping he didn't sound like a desperate girl.  
Turning around, Dave grinned widely at him. "Not worry your pretty head about that, Egbert. I promise I'll see you at school tomorrow."  
And at that, he left, leaving a dumbstruck John in his wake.

_Dave; Wednesday; 7: 18 am_

\- turntechGodhead began pestering gardenGnostic at 7: 18 am -

TT: sup jade  
GG: not much!  
GG: how about you, cool kid?  
TT: oh, you know, the usual  
TT: creating some new sick raps  
TT: having a roof-top strife with my bro  
TT: getting ready on my first day to john's school  
TT: we actually both lived in the same city  
TT: just different subdivisions  
GG: *gasp*  
GG: you get to go to John's school?!  
GG: and you were shockingly close to him the whole time?!  
GG: *double gasp*  
TT: don't ask surprised  
TT: wait, are you actually surprised  
GG: no… sorry :/  
GG: i thought this would happen  
TT: omfg  
TT: so rose knows too  
GG: of course.  
TT: saves me the trouble of telling her then  
TT: since that's cleared up, I gotta go  
TT: don't wanna be late

\- turntechGodhead ceased pestering gardenGnostic at 7: 29 am -

Dave stood up from his desk, powering down his computer more out of habit then actually caring. He waved a quick good-bye to his Bro, who was watching reruns of My Little Pony, and grabbed a piece of toast on the way through his comfortably cluttered kitchen. Not having time to sit down, lest he be late, Dave crammed the whole thing into his mouth, chewing mechanically and grabbing his back-pack from its place on the floor by the door. Dave did a quick once over in the mirror, checking that his blonde hair was messy and his red disc shirt was slightly crumpled. He was satisfied.  
Swallowing his toast and trying not to gag as the dry substance made its way down his throat; Dave pushed open the stair door which was conveniently located right next to his apartment. Some people would argue that the elevator was faster and safer but those people obviously didn't know how to live. Already smiling, Dave sat sideways on the metal stair railing, happy that this apartment building had gone for the open area steel caste staircase. Not wasting another second, Dave pushed off and slid down, laughing his ass off like a kindergartner but not caring in the least about who saw. Today was defiantly going to be a good day.

Dave hopped of his rusty old bike, honestly, the thing was ancient, wheeling it to the bike racks and locking it securely. Though he had just arrived at the average-sized high school and no one knew him except John, Dave could already feel the other student's curious stares piercing him as he walked towards the entrance. Honestly, he had never understood people fascination with him, but the stares had followed him around for as long as he could remember.  
Shrugging of the creepy feeling, Dave made his way to the front office and picked up his schedule. Even the secretary was staring at him. Normally, he would find this flattering, but everyone's gaze was way to… calculated and unnecessarily wary. It was unnerving.  
Luckily, the closer Dave got to his locker, the more normal people started acting. No one approached him, though he noticed some boys in football jerseys studying him casually and caught more than a few girls staring at him and giggling. Things were looking up for him.  
Then he noticed a crowd near his locker. Not surrounding it, but something else that just happened to be near. Dave didn't want to look like he cared, but the curiosity was killing him. Unlocking his locker with a twirl of the combination lock, the crowd nearby had finally parted enough for Dave to see what was happening. It was only a glance, but that image would be burned into his brain permanently. Rolling his hands into fists and clenching his teeth, Dave literally shook in his spot with the mental force it took him to stay in place. Still shaking, Dave carefully set all his needed school supplies into his locker, making a mental note to paint it red later, and crammed his now empty back-pack in the top corner. Grabbing the supplies he would need for class, Dave took a steady step back from his locker and, using his anger as fuel, slammed the door as hard as he could.  
The effect was instantaneous. Everyone went silent at the exact same moment. You could have heard a pin drop in that hallway. Moving towards the crowd, he didn't even have to push anyone out of the way. The sea of students parted for him like the ocean did for Moses. When he finally did get to the middle, he saw that one of the "offender" had frozen in mid-punch with his fist just inches from John's nose whilst the bully's friends seemed to be cheering him on. Speaking of the little derp, he was looking up at Dave with a mix of awe, relief, happiness, and confusion (but mostly awe).  
As soon as he saw Dave standing there looking calm and ironic, the blonde kid holding John by his shirt collar grinned and let go, standing up, clearly getting the wrong idea from Dave's sudden appearance. The blonde made his way over to Dave and stuck his hand out pleasantly, though his expression spoke of mischief and cruelty.  
"You must be the new kid," he said, "I'm Cameron Orahood." Dave rolled his eyes under his shades but placed his stuff on top of a locker and shook Cameron's hand anyway.  
"Dave Strider," he introduced himself in his usual monotone voice. As soon as the hand shake ceased, Dave whipped his hand on the front of his black skinny jeans in full view, causing several people behind him to snicker. Cameron frowned and glared at them but said nothing.  
"So," Dave began, placing himself in between Cameron and John, "care to explain why you were beating the shit out of John here?" Cameron started but recovered quickly, laughing, though it sounded nervous and forced.  
"Are you saying that you know Egderp?" he chortled, gesturing to John. Dave stiffened and, moving so fast that he was just a red blur, yanked his foldable katana out of his pocket and pressed it to Cameron's neck as he bent him slightly back over his leg, effectively catching him off guard and holding him in place.  
"Don't," he growled, "call him that." Forcing himself to calm down, Dave continued, "But, yes I do know him," he began, "and you know how?" Cameron shook his head, wary of the blade, "I met John online and only just saw him for real on Tuesday in the hospital, because for some reason," he hissed menacingly, "some fuckass prick thought it would be funny to hurt my best friend. But I'm _sure_ you won't make that mistake again." he said with fake laughter in his voice. Cameron shook his head furiously.  
"And one last thing," Dave grinned evilly, putting more pressure on the blade. With an effortless sweep of his leg, Dave kicked Cameron's feet out from under him and he landed flat on his fat ass, bringing bits of laughter from the ever on looking crowd. "Do not fuck with me."  
Ignoring everyone, even Cameron's shocked lackeys, Dave walked over to John, effortlessly sliding his katana back into its spot before offering John his hand. Smiling, the shorter boy didn't hesitate, grabbing Dave's hand and pulling himself up, wrapping his arms around Dave's waist as soon as he was standing.  
"Dave…" he muttered affectionately into the blonde's chest. Grinning, said male wrapped his arms around John in response.  
"Good to see you, Egderp." He said, loud enough for those closest to hear. John laughed and pulled away, grabbing Dave's hand and pulling him through the crowd, pausing just long enough for Dave to grab his stuff before continuing, not even noticing all the stares and mixed expressions they were receiving. Dave laughed, staring at the little derp affectionately as he talked about all the classes Dave would have to participate in.

_Cameron sat up and watched furiously as Dave and John rounded a corner together. He snarled viciously, practically foaming from the mouth. "I'm going to fucking kill him." He promised himself. _

\- gardenGnostic began pestering tentacleTherapist at 4: 31 pm -

GG: hi Rose!  
TT: Hello Jade. What is it you wish to converse about?  
GG: oh, I just wanted to talk about Dave and John!  
TT: I see. What about them?  
GG: actually, I had a bit of *cough* "insight" about them.  
TT: Oh. Well then please do continue.  
GG: they're both in danger.  
GG: i'm just worried because I have no idea what's going to hurt them or when exactly.  
GG: i just know it will be soon.  
TT: Calm down. I'm sure that they will both be perfectly fine. Now then, is there anything else you wish to discuss with me? I actually have plans to head out in just a few minutes.  
GG: well, okay then, it's just that those two are both so…  
GG: …blind.  
TT: Yes, I completely agree with you. The sexual tension between the two is so suffocating and unbearable that I can feel it even through my computer screen.  
GG: rose!  
TT: I apologize for my blatant rudeness and ignorance Jade, especially if I offended you, but we are both well aware that my description was not only accurate, but true.  
GG: i know, and it just annoys me how dense and oblivious boys are!  
TT: I can sympathize. That is precisely why I date girls and not boys.  
GG: speaking of your sexuality, how goes the dating scene?  
TT: Wonderful, now that you mention it, and thank you for asking. I'm in a healthy romantic relationship with a beautiful girl my age named Kanaya. She doesn't live around here so we date through video chat.  
GG: rose, that's fantastic!  
GG: i'm so happy for you!  
TT: Thank you, Jade.  
TT: Now, back to the matter at hand. What do we do about John and Dave?  
GG: don't worry; I'll keep up to date with them and tell you if I see anything new.  
GG: also, don't tell them about this conversation.  
GG: bye, Rose!

\- gardenGnostic ceased pestering tentacleTherapist at 4: 45 pm -


	2. In Which I Skip Forward One Month

**A/N: I'm going for drama this chapter. #Obvious**

* * *

_Dave; Friday; One Month In The Future _

_For one brief moment as the bullet tore through Dave's chest, he had a momentary feeling of weightlessness. He didn't feel the bullet pass cleanly through him and he didn't hear the clang as it hit the stone wall behind him. At that moment Dave just slumped against the wall and stared at the bright red wound, feeling detached from his body, as if he wasn't even there at all. Dave remembered seeing a documentary about World War II and recalled the scene where all the sound was muted and replaced with the buzzing of static on a TV. He supposed this was what the soldiers had been feeling, and Dave decided he didn't like being shell-shocked.  
He didn't feel the dull ache in his skull where his head had collided with the butt of a gun earlier, he didn't taste the coppery blood in his mouth and he sure as hell didn't hear John's panicked cries as he fell to his knees in the blood with a sick splash he couldn't hear at Dave's side.  
At least he still had his sight, something Dave had never been happier for as he looked up at John, who was a shade to dark and a bit fuzzy through his shades. Not for the first time, Dave wished he could take the damned things off and really look at his adorable friend and definite crush at this point, though he knew it was impossible. He didn't want to drive away another person.  
Smiling slightly, Dave watched mournfully as John dialed a number on his phone and began yelling rapidly to someone through the speaker, though Dave didn't know who, while desperately trying to stop Dave's wound from bleeding out with his free hand. It was fun to watch, though he knew his life was on the line, the blonde found it endearing how much John cared for him.  
Then his smile vanished. He saw someone move behind John. He couldn't make out the figure clearly with his muddled mind, but he was defiantly pointing a gun… at John.  
"John!" Dave shouted, but it was too late. In one over whelming rush, all of Dave's scenes bombarded him from every angle.  
He heard John yelling at someone, worry evident in his voice when he suddenly stopped and turned to see what had happened.  
Dave felt his eyes widen and his muscled complained loudly and his chest felt like it was on fire as he tried futilely to sit up straight and push John out of the way.  
He heard the loud 'BANG' as the gun went off and John gave a small gasp as the bullet hit him in the back and he dropped the phone. John swayed for a second on his knees before his strength gave out and he landed face down in his and Dave's mixed blood.  
Still struggling to move, Dave barely managed grabbed the phone, seeing the shooter reload out of the corner of his vision.  
"John? John!" a familiar male voice shouted through the phone, sounding close to having a seizure.  
"We're in the school gym!" Dave shouted into the receiver, just now recognizing his surroundings.  
There was a bang.  
And Dave's entire world tilted and went black._

_John; Friday; One Month Ago; The Present_

John was extremely happy the following morning, unusually happy, as a matter of fact, though as he crawled out of bed, he had difficulty remembering _why _he was so happy.  
_Oh yeah… _he thought, recalling the events of the prior day and smiling idiotically into his pillow. He could never thank Dave enough for saving him that day. Apparently, Cameron hadn't understood when John had explained that he had been in the hospital and was not, in fact, simply avoiding school and had decided to be extra cruel to John as a *cough* 'reward'.  
Then, as he rolled over, trying hopelessly to untangle from the blankets, John let out a startled gasp and jumped, promptly falling off the bed and landing in a heap, his blue bed sheets pooling around him. Dave shot straight up as John hit the ground with a thud and looked around to collect his bearings. Glancing over at the edge, the blonde crawled over and snickered at the sight of John lying flat on his back with one leg in the air and both arms spread out as if he was requesting a hug.  
John glared at him, though it didn't hold any weight and was probably just for the sake of appearances. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?" John shouted angrily, standing up and straightening his shirt while trying not to blush hotly.  
In response, Dave shrugged and leaned back once again on the pillows, crossing his arms under his head for support. "I felt like it." He said as if that was a perfectly reasonable answer that justified his actions and that John should just go with it.  
Instead, the shorter male simply crossed his arms, trying to be mad but failing hilariously. For some reason, he just couldn't work up enough courage to be mad at his bro. Giving up, John meekly threw his hands up in the air and sighed dramatically.  
Grinning, Dave turned his head slightly and looked at him. "You can't argue with my ironic logic, John." John rolled his eyes but didn't respond. Instead, he merely arched an eyebrow, causing Dave's smile to drop slightly.  
"Dave, why do you sleep on your shades?" John asked, sounding somewhat suspicious. For a second, Dave was at a loss for words; he wasn't expecting that and didn't want to tell John but couldn't think of an excuse. Then, as if a signal from God himself, John's newest alarm clock went off, causing both boys to jump, completely caught off guard.  
John totally did _not_ let out a small squeal no matter what Dave claims later and quickly turned the awful thing off. Turning back to Dave, he was surprised, shocked actually, to see the younger Strider crouching on his empty window sill, as if ready to jump.  
He grinned. "See you at school Egderp," he saluted, turning and leaping out the window and landing gracefully in the front yard.  
John rushed to the window fearfully and saw Dave running away, already at the end of the block, the blonde's laughter ringing in his ears. John subconsciously smiled softly and didn't turn away until Dave was just a red dot on the horizon, staring dreamily after him the entire time. Finally, he reluctantly shut his window and turned away, running a hand through his naturally messy raven hair. For once, John could safely say that he was looking forward to school.

_John; Friday; 7: 47 am_

John takes back what he thought earlier. He was _so _not ready for school. A part of him hoped that yesterday's events had just been a dream. True, his day would be horrible, but at least it would have been familiar and John could really use some familiarity at the moment.  
Currently, he was hiding in his car in the back of the school's parking lot, though not very well. Really, John was just sitting in the front seat with his hands glued to the steering wheel, staring straight ahead blankly and waiting… for… something, I guess.  
Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the window. John jumped, not realizing that he had been so tense. Looking over, he noticed a scowling face pressed to his window. The person was a boy, but not anyone John had ever seen before. Relaxing somewhat at this realization, John opened the car door and, taking the hint, the stranger moved back. Getting out and locking the door subconsciously behind him, our protagonist studied the shorter male next to him. He was clearly in John's grade, but was probably no taller than 5 feet.  
Rolling his eyes for a reason John didn't understand, the stranger stuck out his hand and John shook it automatically.  
"I'm John Egbert," he introduced, smiling hesitantly.  
"Karkat Vantas," the other replied, still scowling, though he didn't look angry. "And anyway, it doesn't matter," Karkat continued, "I'm just curious as to why you were sitting in your car staring out the window like a fucking idiot when there's less than ten minutes until the bell rings."  
John laughed and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well, you see, it's really a funny story." he began.  
Karkat raised an eyebrow, "Yes, I'm sure it is," he cut in, "but unfortunately, I don't care. I just figured I should get you lazy ass into school. It's my good deed of the day."  
John laughed again, causing Karkat's eyebrow to twitch. "Well, thanks then, Karkat." He said, patting the shorty's head affectionately, much to the annoyance of said shorty.  
"Yeah, whatever," Karkat said sharply, slapping John's hand away, though the taller boy's smile didn't drop in the slightest.  
Rolling his eyes again (John was certain that it was an automatic reflex), Karkat grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the school. Well, tried to, neither of them would have gone anywhere if John hadn't been walking along behind his newest friend (though neither of them were aware of this yet).  
"So Karkat," John began, catching his friend's attention, "are you new or something? I haven't seen you around before."  
Karkat snorted and let go of John's wrist, as they had made it inside the building. "No duh, Sherlock." He said vaguely, looking at John out of the corner of his eye, Karkat gave a weary sigh. "I just moved here a few days ago with my older brother." He explained.  
John grinned down at him. "Cool, so then what classes do you have?" he asked. Figuring that resistance was futile, Karkat muttered some unpleasant words under his breath before turning to dig around in his backpack. After a few minutes, he turned and shoved a crumbled piece of paper into John's hands, who in turn glanced over it quickly, smiling the whole time.  
"Looks like we'll be seeing each other around," He said, handing the paper back to a naturally scowling Karkat, who groaned. "Fan-fucking-tastic." He muttered with fake enthusiasm.  
"Yeah," John continued, pretending not to have heard Karkat. "We have all our classes together except for science and math, which are flipped." He received no response from the shorty, though, somehow, John could tell that Karkat was happy to have gained a friend so quickly.  
Karkat shoved the schedule into his pocket and swung his backpack into place on his shoulder, not making a move to leave.  
John laughed. "I'll see you later," he promised, "also, the math class is down that way, pretty close to your locker, actually." John pointed down the hall on the left before turning right, towards his own locker, waving at Karkat, who was smiling very faintly. Somehow, even after just five minutes of knowing him, John knew that was an accomplishment.

_Dave; Friday; 7: 11_

Dave was now, officially, well beyond annoyed. He had been home for about a minute or so now, trying to get a few more minutes of sleep in, and with every passing second, he felt gracious sleep slip further and further away. And, worst of all, even his trusty pillow, which was normally impervious to all sound, could not shield his ears from the loud, shrill beeping of his alarm clock. Before all this, Dave had been home-schooled by Bro, who was actually a surprisingly good teacher, and thus was unfamiliar with the life-long struggle of getting up to an alarm clock every morning. He didn't like it at all.  
Still, Dave had to get up eventually if he was going to make it to school. Keeping this thought in mind, he forcibly yanked the blanket of his body, missing the warmth immediately. Yawning, Dave grabbed his shades, placing them securely on the bridge of his nose and randomly grabbing at his dresser. He yanked on a plain red t-shirt , not to be confused with the t-shirt he had worn yesterday, which was in the corner, and he was still wearing the same jeans he had not only worn yesterday but also fallen asleep at John's in. At some point whilst internet surfing, Dave is pretty sure he read some article that proved showering everyday was bad for your health. Yeah, sure, that's why he didn't bother with a shower. Defiantly not because he's lazy.  
Anyway, after quickly and efficiently preparing for school, Dave made his way to the kitchen to hopefully grab some AJ and Doritos safely before making an early escape from the ever-watchful eyes of his Bro to the prison more commonly referred to as "school". However, before he could even catch a glimpse of the miraculous AJ, Dave was stopped by his all-knowing guardian, Bro, who was looking down at him severely, though after years of this behavior, Dave was no longer intimidated in the slightest by just a look, though their fights were way more intense and it took all his will power to "keep his cool" (but a normal person probably would be cowering for forgiveness on their knees by now).  
"What is it, Bro?" Dave asked with an impatient tone, though was careful not to sound sassy, which took serious practice.  
Bro raised an eyebrow, mentally noting Dave's improved "snarky tones" and grinned wildly down at him. "I heard from the principal that you were in a fight yesterday. And on your first day no less." He sighed heavily and shook his head in mock-disappointment to disguise the obvious smirk on his face.  
Dave stayed silent. He had thought about this conversation for a while, though was still unsure how to respond after several practices in his head.  
Finally, feeling the awkwardness creeping steadily into the silence, Dave sighed, "I was only doing it to protect a friend." He protested.  
Bro just nodded thoughtfully, all traces of a grin gone. "I believe you, little man," he said, ruffling Dave's hair affectionately, mostly to annoy Dave who batted his hand away, exasperated "but the principal might be a little harder to sway."  
Dave just rolled his eyes, though no one could tell. It would be much too easy to convince someone as brainless as his principal, and if worst comes to worse, he gets a few days of after-school detention. No big deal, certainly nothing to worry his pretty head about.  
Choosing not to respond, Dave walked past his Bro, who, conveniently and mysteriously, had already flash-stepped away undetected to who knows where, Dave certainly didn't. It wasn't his business anyway. Still, Dave pondered his Bro's very existence for a solid second or two before, to his delight, spotting a travel sized jug of AJ from the counter (Bro is so thoughtful) and, immediately opening it and taking a sip, forgetting all about it. While opening it, he quickly decided that he would walk to school as opposed to biking so as to minimize the chance of him spilling the precious AJ.  
Taking his usual way down to the ground floor, really just to annoy the neighbors, Dave sat on the hand railing and pushed off feebly, not really feeling it today as he was, for the first time, silent as he started seriously contemplating why he was even getting up at 7: 00 am just too willingly go to the hell-hole called school. The answer came back just as quickly and hit him like a slap in the face. _That's right, _he recalled with a start, _to protect John._ He didn't question this un-ironic logic the rest of the way down.

_Dave; Friday; 7: 30_

The weirdness began as soon as Dave entered the school. Whereas yesterday everyone had been shy and avoided him, whispering amongst themselves instead, today no one could seem to bother him enough. The first person to approach him had been a girl. She looked to be Australian or Chinese or something and had a light bronze skin tone with pitch black hair that had a thick streak of pink through the side. Matching her hair choice, the girl wore a loose pink tank top and a blue denim jacket which went surprisingly well with her knee length green and blue skirt. Still, despite that, Dave found it harder than it should be to tear his eyes away from her seemingly permanent grin.  
He stared at her quizzically from behind his shades as she stood there, looking up and staring at him. She really was short, probably no bigger than John at the most. And suddenly, the situation became that much more awkward for him.  
When it became obvious to her that he wasn't going to talk, she flipped her hair over her shoulder seemingly out of habit and stuck her hand out, and Dave, not wanting to be a douche, shook it, making the girl smile brighter than he had ever thought humanly possible.  
"Hi!" she practically shouted. Defiantly Australian. "I'm Feferi Pixies! I just wanted to meet you personally instead of through gossip!"  
Dave just raised an eyebrow. "Wow, only one day and there's already gossip?" Feferi nodded enthusiastically.  
"Yep!" she confirmed. "I don't know if you've realized this or not, but our school is small and we take what little excitement we can get!"  
Dave nodded in response but rolled his eyes under the protective veil that was his shades. It was pretty obvious this was a dead-end school.  
"Well, thanks for being civil, Feferi." He said, feeling truly glad, though he wasn't going to tell her that. She merely smiled wider and giggled her response before walking off with a spring in her step, practically skipping.  
After that, people became braver and came up to him more and more frequently until it was practically a mob surrounding him on all sides. Feeling slightly desperate and crazy, Dave closed his eyes and concentrated, blocking out all noise and even the jostling of the body's around him. Picturing his locker as vividly as possible, Dave imagined stepping out of reality and into the picture. He managed to do it for a split second, but that seemed to be all he needed. Suddenly, all the noise and movement around him was gone **(Yes, I know that's not how flash-stepping works, but it's my story, so fuck you)**.  
Stumbling slightly at the unfamiliar ground beneath him, Dave only took a single glance around him to confirm the thoughts racing through his head. He grinned widely and shook his head in disbelief. He had managed to flash-step. Bro would be so proud. Unfortunately, his immense relief and sense of accomplishment only lasted a minute.  
"Dave!" John shouted, looking up from his slumped position against Dave's locker. Apparently, Dave had (luckily) overestimated the distance and ended up a good ten feet from his locker. "Dave, where did you even come from?" John asked, causing Dave to do a double take at how close the little derp suddenly was. "I didn't hear you coming."  
Smirking, Dave replied, "That's because, I am, in fact, a ninja, my dearest Egbert."  
John rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You are not a ninja, Dave."  
"Well, did you see me do that?"  
"Do what?"  
"Exactly." Dave laughed at John's adorable pouty face before ruffling his hair and moving past him to enter the combination into his locker. It took one glance over his shoulder at John's pissed face to convince Dave. Today would be fun.

By lunch time, Dave learned that he was only half right. At the moment, he was enjoying a pleasant lunch with John and his new friend, Karkat, whom he had only met a few minutes ago. Still, he seemed to enjoy having company and had a very "creative" way of expressing his dislike for Dave.  
A few people will still pointing at him and whispering, though after years of practice, Dave had learned to ignore it like a pro. Actually, they probably wouldn't have been looking at him at all had it not been for the stunt he had pulled during his English class. Let's explain.  
During the middle of his english teacher's long rant about proper paragraph formatting, Dave had been happily content swimming in his own thoughts and staring blankly out the open window by his desk in the very back. He was so content, in fact, that he wouldn't have noticed the note at all had it not hit him in the face. Feeling slightly confused and extremely annoyed, Dave took one look at the note and groaned loudly. It held one word.

_ROOF_

Clearing his throat and giving Dave the stink eye, Mr. English directed the class' attention to him. "Is there anything wrong, David?" He asked sarcastically. Not giving a single shit about his teacher's hidden meaning, Dave stood up quickly, startling a few people nearby, and walked purposely towards his teacher until they were face to face.  
Sighing again, he handed Mr. English the note and offered as an explanation, "My Bro wants me on the roof." And then he turned around and walked out of the room. Luckily, Dave had anticipated this and had found the roof hatch the day prior. It wasn't as high up as his own but was easily much wider. Climbing the stairs wearily, Dave pushed open the door and was greeted by the sight of his Bro sanding with his back to the door, dramatically gripping his sword in one hand.  
"Bro," Dave complained, already in fighting stance, sword drawn effortlessly, "Do we really have to do this at school?"  
Bro snickered and turned to face his brother, "You're not getting away from your lessons just by going to school. Now come on, I do have a life outside of listening to you complain."  
Grinding his teeth together in frustration, Dave bent his knees slightly and dashed at his Bro, who was still wearing that damned smug-ass Strider grin.  
Aiming to knock his Bro over, Dave slashed at his knees but hit only air, almost falling over as his Bro flash-stepped behind him. Bending his back awkwardly, Dave somehow managed to avoid a painful blow to the spine with the butt-end of a sword. Unfortunately though, the movement left him off balanced and Dave had just enough time to flip onto his back before his Bro was upon him, swinging his sword down for a face hit which Dace barely managed to block with his own sword, coaxing a chuckle from his Bro. Getting pissed, Dave used his sudden and brief spurt of anger as full and shoved his Bro off, catching him off guard and leaping to his feet.  
For a moment, Dave thought he could win for once, only to feel cool metal press against his neck as he simultaneously swung his own sword up to Bro's neck.  
They both stood like that for a moment, literally at each other's throats before, finally, Bro smiled and both Strider's pocketed their swords at the same time. Dave was out of breath and sweating slightly, though happily noted that his Bro had a slight sheen to his forehead.  
Bro ruffled his hair and laughed loudly. "Not bad little man, maybe someday you actually could beat me." He boasted. Then he was gone, flash-stepped home apparently.  
Dave sighed in relief and turned towards the stairs, steps faltering as his jaw dropped slightly in shock. God, he was going to have just a fabulous time explaining to Mr. English why he was fighting with deadly weapons on the roof.  
Still, as he walked over, Dave figured he could manage to convince his teacher not to tell anyone when the situation became that much worse.  
As Mr. English darted out from his hiding spot behind the door, about six or seven kids followed him, all with jaw dropped expressions and one of them was holding their phone tightly, giving Dave a sense of dread.  
But before he could snatch the phone and delete the video he was sure the kid had recorded, Mr. English had pounced on him, giving Dave a quick, tight hug before pulling back just as fast.  
"Are you okay?" He asked, that stupid english accent thicker than ever. "Did you get hurt?"  
Dave rolled his eyes at his teacher's behavior and forced a small smile to his face as the group of kids moved closer warily. "I'm fine English," he said, happily noting that his teacher's face pinched with annoyance at the nickname. "It was just a fight with my Bro."  
Mr. English looked at him incredulity. "Why on Earth do you sword fight with your brother on random roofs?" Dave just grinned wider.  
"Oh, not just any roof will do," he explained, "usually, we fight on the roof of our apartment building, but I guess Bro was bored."  
Still giving him that utter look of disbelief, Mr. English just shook his head as Dave pushed pass him and walked down the stairs, reentering the building and thanking the lords for air-conditioning.  
Suddenly, the bell signaling lunch went off, high and shrill as ever, causing Dave to jump slightly from shock. Muttering curse words under his breath, Dave sighed and made his way to lunch.

And that brings the dear readers up to date on Dave's completely uneventful life as a high schooler. Speaking of uneventful, lunch was actually pretty good. Dave got to keep tabs on his favorite derp, and met the new kid who, luckily, hadn't shown up yesterday due to family complications. He even had a Pesterchum handle, which Dave acquired immediately.  
All in all, it wasn't horrible. . .  
. . .until the bell rang. Accompanying the usual bell, there was an announcement over the loud speakers that was just barely audible over all the shouting.  
"DAVE STRIDER, PLEASE REPORT TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. REPEAT, DAVE STRIDER, PLEASE REPORT TO THE OFFICE IMMEDIATELY." Came the monotone voice of the school secretary. Groaning heavily, Dave offered a small smile and wave to John and Karkat before turning and making his way towards the office.  
Upon entry, Dave was surprised to see that the principal was waiting for him inside, pacing around in circles and rubbing his pudgy face nervously. Once he say Dave though, he stopped and smiled, shaking Dave's hand nervously.  
"Hello, David," he greeted pleasantly. "Please, follow me." He said, ushering Dave down a corridor and into a small office.  
The room had plain white walls with no pictures or decorations hung up anywhere at all. The magnolia desk held only paper work and pencils, and the two guest chairs in the room were an uncomfortably bright shade of blue.  
Gesturing for him to sit in one of the blue sofas, the principal sat in his brown leather swivel chair at his desk. They sat in silence for about a minute, neither moving nor saying a word. Finally, right when Dave was about to ask what they were waiting for, there was a loud knock on the door.  
"Come in." the principal responded with a squeaky voice. Not hesitating a second, the door swung up to reveal Cameron standing in the door way, a smug smirk on his face. Instead of being surprised to see Dave, Cameron just looked happy and walked past him, sitting in the other chair without a second glance, causing Dave to narrow his eyes in suspicion.  
Laughing nervously to break the ice but quickly realizing that it only made things worse, the principal cleared his throat and began explaining the situation.  
"David," he started, turning his gaze to said blonde, "you are here for two reasons and two reasons only. One, Cameron," he gestured at the other boy, "filled a bullying complaint against you for your immature actions yesterday." Dave had to literally bite his tongue to keep from protesting. He actually tasted blood. "Second, your english teacher told us you left in the middle of class with no explanation and when he found you, you were sword fighting on the roof." Dave rolled his eyes and happily noted that Cameron looked a little shocked and slightly worried at that last piece of information.  
"Normally, we would discuss these events in order with when they occurred, but right now I'm much more curious as to why you though playing with swords on the school's roof was a good idea."  
Sighing inwardly, the blonde prepared himself to explain what he was doing to another guy who would never understand.  
"I didn't think that me going to the roof to "play"," Dave started, making sure to us air quotes, "with my katana would be such a big deal."  
The principal looked at him wide-eyed and shocked, clearly flustered, which was what Dave had been aiming for in the first place.  
"Why would it not be a big deal?" He demanded, face going slightly red with anger.  
Dave just shrugged. "Don't know about you guys, but fighting on the roof is kinda a daily thing for me." Now stuttering and trying to form proper sentences, the principle's face was now as red as Dave's shirt. The three probably would have stayed like that for a while, the principle pissed, Cameron confused, and Dave trying not to laugh, had Cameron not cleared his throat. "Um, dad?" he directed impatiently at the principal, "Maybe you should come back to that later?"  
Calming down some, the balding man nodded, "Yes, good idea, son." Dave sat up straight in his chair and, for the first time, noticed the golden name-tag on the principal's desk.  
_Mr. Orahood_, he read silently, _well, shit.  
_"Yes well, anyway David," Mr. Orahood continued, desperate to change the topic, "can you tell me why you thought it was a good idea to bully Cameron yesterday?"  
Dave snorted, "Well, I _could_ but why does it matter?" he asked, done trying to be nice, "You're his dad, so it doesn't matter what I say, so long as you precious, _helpless_ baby is okay."  
Mr. Orahood looked furious, "I'll have you know, I am not that narrow-minded as to not be honest and fair!" he shouted, purple faced.  
"Okay, then swallow this," Dave said, standing up and raising his volume as well, "I didn't _bully_ your god-damned son! I was protecting a friend who - spoiler alert – was getting the shit beat out of him by – shocker – your poor excuse for a son!" he finished, breathing heavily.  
For once, both father and son were at a loss for words. Satisfied, Dave put his poker face back on and turned to the principal, who flinched under his penetrating gaze.  
"If that's all, then I will go. I don't want to be late for science." He said calmly.  
And Dave left, feeling pretty great about himself, not having any idea what he had done.

* * *

**A/N: I will probably finish this at some point this month, probably only one more chapter and maybe an epilogue.**


	3. In Which The 'Feels' Are Destroyed

**A/N: Sorry for lack of update, I was at a blank for ideas, but now I'm motivated. XD  
Also, this will be the last chapter unless an epilogue is requested. :)  
****ALSO, THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN HINTS OF SOLLUX x KARKAT, KANAYA x ROSE, ERIDAN x FEFERI, ARADIA x EQUIUS, AND VRISKA x TEREZI.  
****DWI**

* * *

_~Dave, Two Weeks Later, The Present~_

"Dave, are you sure you can't come over today?" John whined for about the eighteenth time since lunch, which ended three minutes ago. Dave's eyebrow twitched, but he forced himself to stay calm. It wasn't John's fault he had detention.  
Dave sighed in exasperation, "No Egbert, I'm lying to you. I'm secretly sneaking out the window when your back is turned and then getting drunk at a rave party." He said, one of his most tame fantasies all day.  
"I know," John sighed, pouting adorably (← Ignore that), "but it feels like forever since we've hung out outside of school."  
Dave scoffed and rolled his eyes, "I spent the night three days in a row last weekend." he pointed out, opening his locker to grab the supplies he would need for next period.  
John just stood there, determined to continue the conversation, "Nevermind that, Dave," he said dismissively, "It's a new week. What did you even do to get detention for a month, anyway?"  
It had been two weeks since the *cough***** "accident" in the principal's office (or as Dave referred to it, "a regular school day") and he had still refused to tell anyone what had happened in the office. Not only could he get in more trouble for doing so (but let's face it, who cares?) but it would only bring Cameron sick, twisted pleasure if he did. And anyways, it was comforting to know that he still controlled something.  
"I told you, Egbert," Dave said conversationally, closing his locker and walking past the derp to get to their shared history class, "I was sword-fighting on the roof. How does that not get me in trouble?"  
John rolled his eyes humorously, "Don't even play that card, Dave. We both know you still do it every day anyway."  
Dave let out a quiet groan of frustration. As much as he wanted to deny it, John was right. His Bro was even more viscous than ever, sometimes showing up twice during school before beating the shit out of him at home too. Luckily, he hadn't been caught again, instead using excuses like, "the bathroom" or "the nurse" when caught in the hallways.  
Despite this however, Dave was enjoying school. He had managed to make some friends within his first week and though they were all crazy and he would never admit it, Dave was already attached. For the sake of the story line, Dave silently lists all his friends in his head.  
_John, Karkat, Terezi, Vriska, Kanaya, Gamzee, Eridan, Aradia, and Feferi. _He listed methodically. Feferi had introduced him to most of those people and, again, never admitting it, he was really glad he had bumped into her that day two weeks ago.  
"Hey fuckwits," Karkat greeted, falling into step beside John, "you know what I noticed?"  
"That you're an insufferable ass who talks too much?" Dave guessed.  
"Haha, Strider," Karkat glared, "before you criticize me, why don't you look in the god-damned mirror."  
Dave just shrugged in response, noticing the look John was giving him.  
"So, what did you notice?" John asked enthusiastically, turning to Karkat.  
"Okay, so, just the other day, when I was staying after school," Karkat said, opening the door to their shared history class, "I noticed that there was a huge ass stain on the carpet, kinda like blood" John stiffened, "see?" he said, pointing at an area of carpet that was indeed colored dark red, almost appearing brown, "I don't know, I just thought it was interesting." Karkat explained, taking his seat.  
"Yep, it's a mystery," Dave said, determined to change the subject, remembering what John had told him about the event while still in the hospital.  
"Yeah, I guess we'll never know." John agreed shakily, sliding into his seat.  
Karkat raised an eyebrow at them, "What's with you guys?" he asked.  
It was common knowledge that their school had a bullying problem, and it was even more well-known that John, among a few others, had been bullied. Hell, Karkat had found out about it on his second day through gossip. However, for some reason, there had been no rumors about how severe the beatings had gotten and, honestly, he really didn't want to bring it up. For once, he had friends and could show attend school with a smile. And that is not something he wanted to give up.  
Luckily, before John could answer, the bell went off and Ms. Crocker entered the room, already in mid-lecture.  
"Alright, before we get stared I want everyone to pass their essay forward to-" She began, though Dave only listened long enough to know the homework he had finished last night was due. He had nothing against his teacher, or any of them for that matter, but it was hard to care about history.  
Dave handed his essay to the person in front of him, Nepeta or something like that, and positioned his head to make it appear he was paying attention before zoning out.

_~John, End of the Day, The Present~_

"Hey, Karkat, wait up!" John shouted, making his way over to the shorty somewhat slowly in the crowd rushing out of the school.  
Karkat rolled his eyes at seeing John and said something to the guy standing next to him wearing 3D glasses, who snickered and said something, earning himself a punch in the arm before walking away right as John approached.  
"Hey, who was that you were talking to?" John asked once he elbowed his way to Karkat's side, "I didn't recognize him."  
Karkat, unexpectedly, blushed, which was a rare occurrence, though it was always obvious when he did, "Who, him? He's no one. Come on, let's go." He said with one breath, tugging John down the sidewalk. Surprisingly, the two lived across the street from each other, so they would occasionally hang out after school at John's house, as Karkat refused to let anyone inside his. Family issues, John guessed.  
"You don't have to get so defensive," he laughed, walking faster to make his way beside Karkat, who growled at him but said nothing, "so, you wanna hang out at my place today? My dad loves having someone around to eat his cakes."  
"As much as I love your dad's cooking, I can't." Karkat said, the tinniest hint of a smile on his face at the mention of John's dad.  
"Aw, why not?" John whined, half-joking as he knew better then to pressure his friend into something.  
Karkat sighed, "I want to, but I'm grounded."  
"Really? What did you do?"  
"Nothing, it doesn't matter," Karkat said, clearly uncomfortable with the topic, "besides, we have something much more important to talk about."  
"And what might that be?" asked John, not really paying attention.  
"You and Dave." he said bluntly, looking straight ahead with a blank expression.  
"Oh yeah? What about us?"  
"Are you guys dating?"  
If John had been drinking something he probably would have spit it out in an epic moment of surprise that always happens in the movies. _Now_ he was paying attention.  
"What kinda question is that?" John shouted, skidding to a stop and turning on his friend.  
Karkat just shrugged, not seeming put off by his reaction, "Are you blind or something? You two are like a couple but without the kissing. Everyone at our table can see it."  
John turned red, much like Karkat had earlier. "That's not true! Besides, I'm not homosexual!" he protested to his friend.  
"Yeah, sure," he scoffed, "John, we all know that's just a pathetic ruse. Just think about it, okay?" Karkat said, turning to go up the walk leading to his house.  
John grabbed Karkat's arm, holding him in place. "Why do you even care?" John asked, "We aren't dating but you seem to be implying something with this ridiculous topic."  
"It's nothing, okay?" Karkat said weakly, yanking his arm out of John's grip, "I just think that you should have a happy relationship with someone who likes you since I can't."  
John, confused, opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Karkat was already gone, disappearing inside and leaving the self-proclaimed heterosexual to his strange new thoughts.

_~Dave, Two Hours Later, The Present~_

Sighing, Dave trudged pathetically into his living room, throwing his backpack into the corner before flopping onto the couch, more out of laziness than exhaustion. He grabbed the container of apple juice from that morning off the side table and emptied it in one swallow. Normally his Bro would be home working on another robot or beating the shit out of him, but Bro had told Dave that morning that he would be spending the weekend at his boyfriend's, Jake's, house. It was probably for the best. Dave still had bruises that needed to heal.  
Just then, there was a beep from his phone, signaling that someone was trying to contact him on Pesterchum. With a weary sigh, he reached into his bag and fished it out, not even surprised to see Karkat's handle.

**\- **carcinoGeneticist began trolling turntechGodhead at 5: 42 pm -

CG: EARTH TO DAVE.  
CG: RESPOND STRIDER.  
TG: miss me already, kitkat  
CG: YOU WISH FUCKWIT. I AM CONTACTING YOU FOR BUISNESS REASONS ONLY.  
TG: i am intrigued  
TG: continue  
CG: SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR ONCE.  
CG: I'M JUST GOING TO CUT TO THE CHASE.  
CG: DO YOU LOVE JOHN?  
TG:  
TG: what the actual fuck kinda joke is this  
CG: IT'S NOT A JOKE. THAT'S THE POINT.  
TG: so, this is a serious conversation  
CG: YES, NOW ANSWER SERIOUSLY.  
TG: fine, but only because i know that arguing with you is stupid and pointless  
CG: WISE CHOICE  
TG: okay, fine  
TG: yes, i-  
TG: like him  
TG: love is a bit strong  
CG: DAVE, I'M NOT AN IDIOT  
TG: fine, yes, I love him  
CG: THAT'S ALL I NEED TO HEAR

\- carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling turntechGodhead at 6: 01 pm –

Dave groaned loudly into a pillow, throwing his phone across the room, relieved that there was no loud crack. Curling into a little ball, Dave replayed that conversation in his head over and over again, thinking about what an idiot he was. He could have simply said no, but he just **had** to be truthful. At the very least, Karkat had proven to be trust worthy with secrets, especially if the secret was related to romance.  
Trying to find calm down with the knowledge of this small comfort, Dave rested his chin on his knees, thinking about the answer he had given. Sure, "love" was a bit strong, but maybe it was right in this situation? Admittedly, there had defiantly been the beginnings of romantic feels back when they had only talked online, but now? It was much stronger now, but John was not a homosexual, he had pointed it out enough times for Dave to remember.  
Thinking back, the blonde tried to remember the exact moment when he had realized that he was... in love. It was probably about three days after the incident where Dave kicked a bully's ass to teach him a lesson.  
They had been hanging out at John's house and, using methods still unknown to this day (probably magic), he had convinced Dave to watch Con Air.  
About five minutes into the movie, Dave lost interest and turned to John, planning on begging for the movie to be turned off, when he paused.  
John was just sitting there, leaning forward and watching the screen intently, looking as if he would fall off the couch at any moment. He was even mouthing some of the words and speaking others out-loud. The light from the movie reflected of his glasses, obscuring his eyes at some angles or making them even brighter at others and making his hair look even darker than normal. The whole thing was probably the cutest thing in the world.  
Dave, so captivated by this sight, didn't realized that the movie was over until John jumped up to put in the next disc. Still in a daze and feeling as if he had just come down after a massive high, Dave agreed, happily watching John while he watched the movie. This went on for another three movies and ended with John passing out snuggled against Dave, who was, unironically, petting his hair.  
Blushing, Dave came back down to reality and stood up, wanting to think about something besides his derpy friend, but not able too. Its official, he... loved John.  
Life was so damn cruel.  
Dave ran a hand through his hair, determined not to break down. John would never love him back, he was to stubborn to ever consider a relationship with a boy.  
Unknown to him though, John, just a few miles away, had drawn up the exact same conclusion.

_~John, Three Weeks Later, The Present~_

It had been three weeks since John had realized he loved Dave and he was now a nervous wreck. On the outside, nothing had changed with him and his "only-friend's" relationship with Dave was still the same, but being as close as they were, John knew that something was troubling his friend and, likewise, Dave probably knew something was off with John.  
"John?" Vriska asked, snapping her fingers in his face, "Are you hearing a word I'm talking saying?" Sheepishly, John shook his head.  
"Sorry, Vris, I was zoning out." he apologized. Vriska didn't seem satisfied with this excuse but she let it slide, probably going to give him hell about it later though.  
"Anyway, as I was saying," She shot an annoyed look at John, "I'm not going to the stupid dance."  
"Aw, why not, Vriska?" Terezi moaned, latching on to her friends arm, "I don't have a date either and I'm going." "It doesn't matter, the dance is lame and so are all of you." Vriska declared, face bright red as she stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. Terezi sighed and rolled her eyes, following Vriska out and mumbling curses under her breath.  
"What's with her?" John asked, looking back at his friends.  
Kanaya just sighed and flipped a page in her magazine, "She's just going through some stuff and confined in my, on the grounds that I not share with any of you."  
Dave rolled his eyes (it's obvious when he does, despite the shades), "So basically she's fucked up with hormones, right?"  
"That's a... different way of putting it, but yes." Kanaya agreed slowly before tuning them all out again in favor of her magazine.  
"What was she even talking about?" Karkat wondered aloud, turning to face everyone at the table instead of focusing on the blonde kid sitting at a different table.  
Feferi shrugged, "She's just upset about the school's Valentine dance tomorrow. No one asked her so she's no going." she said.  
"Makes sense to me," Aradia added, looking up from her latest adventure novel and tucking a strand of hair back into place, "You don't go to a Valentine dance without a date, the whole point of the thing is to celebrate love."  
"Wwell at least I don't havve to wworry about it," Eridan said with his stupid accent, "I already have a date." He winked at Feferi who giggled and blushed (like an idiot).  
Gamzee shrugged, "I don't see what the big motherfuckin' deal is about this dance."  
Everyone ignored him.  
Karkat rolled his eyes and leaned over, whispering something in Gamzee's ear that made the juggalo jump up and leave post-haste.  
"Really? The dance is tomorrow?" John asked, caught off-guard by the closeness of the event.  
"Yeah, why? Did you forget to get a date?" Aradia answered, flipping a page in her book.  
"Well, yes, but its fine. I wasn't planning on going anyway." he said, catching the look Kanaya was giving him. Seeming to know that John really didn't want to go to the dance, Kanaya closed her magazine and rounded on him, "John, you have to go to the dance." She stated, leaving no room for argument.  
"What, why?" John protested, already mentally organizing a list of Nic Cage movies to watch on Saturday.  
"Because, I have a good feeling about tomorrow." she responded with an all-knowing smirk that sent chills down his spine.  
"Well that's all well and good," John cut in sarcastically, "but you're forgetting something. I don't have a date!" he announced triumphantly.  
Kanaya's expression did not change, instead she appeared even smugger. "That's fine John. You can go with Dave."  
Said blonde, who had been sipping apple juice and chatting with Karkat, spit out his AJ in surprise, pounding on his chest and coughing, turning to Kanaya once he could speak again, "Oh no, there is no way in hell you are dragging me into this!" he declared viciously, slamming a fist on the table.  
"What, you don't want to go on a date with John?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and smirking (this girl must be Rose's twin!).  
Dave said nothing, seeming to be at a loss for words as Kanaya stood up, "Since that's settled, I had better get to work on finding you two formal wear. I'll bring the finished product to you tomorrow. Bye!" she said. And then she was gone, through the swishing cafeteria doors, leaving a dumbfounded Dave and John at a table full of people laughing.

_~Dave, Saturday, 6: 43 pm, The Present~_

Dave sighed heavily as he made his way to the door, he normally wouldn't have, but the consistent knocking had been going on for at least ten minutes and he was beginning to develop a head ache.  
"Ah, David!" Kanaya exclaimed happily as soon as the door was open, "Nice to see you showered like I asked." Dave rolled his eyes at her behavior, completely pleasant as if he hadn't just completely ignored her for the last ten minutes.  
"Not like I had much of a choice." Dave grumbled, following her into the living room reluctantly.  
"You always had a choice, but I probably would have forced you to comply anyway, so it doesn't really matter, now does it?" Kanaya answered sweetly, putting down the bag she was carrying that had the Virgo symbol from the 12 zodiacs on it on it.  
"What's in here?" He asked, reluctant to touch it after seeing how tenderly Kanaya had held it.  
"It's your suit, I custom made it myself." She said, beaming, taking way to much pleasure from the situation. Dave whistled lowly, "Wow, you did that in one day?"  
She nodded, "I did John's too. Which reminds me, you had better hurry up and change. I told him you'd pick him up at seven, and he lives about five minutes away."  
Grabbing the bag as gently as he could, Dave carried it into the bathroom to change. He honestly didn't expect it to be good, but was genuinely impressed with Kanaya's work.  
She had made him a crimson colored jacket that went over a crisp white button up shirt. She had even added golden cuff-links as a bonus. He pulled those on first before inspecting the rest. Kanaya had tailored and pressed a pair of black dress pants that, despite their appearance, were as soft as pajama bottoms. For the finishing bit, there was a black ribbon, obviously meant to be a bow tie. Tying it with expert form, Dave inspected himself in the mirror, declaring himself ready (and hot).  
"Kanaya, you are a miracle worker." He said, emerging from the bathroom, and into the criticizing gaze of Kanaya. She circled him slowly like a hungry lion, and it took all of Dave's willpower to hold back the shivers. Finally, after what seemed like forever but was probably only two minutes, she gaze a curt nod and smiled.  
"Well? What are you still doing here?" She said in a mock voice of seriousness, "You have a date and punctuality is very important."  
"I'm already out the door." Dave replied with a wink and a grin, grabbing his jacket and closing the door behind him, leaving a smirking Kanaya in his apartment with a plan that was fated to go horribly, horribly wrong.  
But neither of them knew what was going to happen.  
So Dave swung up onto his motorcycle with a single motion and drove off into the night and Kanaya dialed up her good friend, Rose, both beautifully ignorant and happy.

_~John, Saturday, 6: 58, The Present~_

"Karkat, seriously, you look fine, quite worrying." John insisted, reassuring his friend for what seemed like that millionth time in the past hour, "Honestly, you seem even more worried than me."  
Karkat wore an all-black suit that made him look grown up yet still strangely adorable. He also had on matching shoes, but they had a red shine to them. His undershirt was also bright red and he had a dark gray tie on. He really did look great.  
Practically seething, Karkat glared at him, hands clinched into fists, "Nice observation, Sherlock. We'd better hand you a fucking medal." He spat sarcastically.  
John sighed, he knew Karkat only got this way when he was super nervous. He must really like this Sollux guy, otherwise he wouldn't be half as panicked.  
Knowing exactly what his friend needed, John wrapped his arms around the shorty, who was checking his reflection in the mirror again. At first, Karkat struggled against the hug, but after a minute of hugging and shushing, he had calmed down and was even hugging back.  
"Better?" John asked tentatively when he pulled away a few minutes later. Karkat smiled softly up at him and nodded sheepishly, "Yeah, thanks John. Sorry I was being such a dick." He apologized.  
John scoffed, "Are you kidding? Compared to your normal behavior you were an angel." He teased.  
Karkat gave him a glare, but it was half-baked and spoke only of amusement. At least he was calm now.  
Without warning, the door bell rung, unusually loud in the tension that filled the room, causing Karkat to jump in surprise.  
"I'll get it!" John shouted, running to beat Karkat to the door. For someone so little, he sure was fast. Unfortunately for him, John had the advantage of longer legs and a huge head start, so he reached the door first, pausing for a moment to rub his victory in Karkat's face before opening the door.  
Standing on the threshold was a kid John didn't recognize. He was blonde and his hair was messy but it looked nice on him. The guy was also taller than John, but only by a few inches. He wore 3D glasses that made it difficult to distinguish his real eye color and donned a honey colored suit jacket with black pants, black shoes, and a pressed black tie.  
"Hi, you mutht be KK'th friend. John, right?" He greeted with a lisp, sticking out his hand to shake. John grinned and shook it, turning around to yell for Karkat, who had disappeared.  
"Karkat!" he yelled, "Your date is here!" He saw the guy, Sollux apparently, blush slightly out of the corner of his eye.  
"Fuck off, John!" Karkat yelled as he made his way down the stairs (John was pleased to note that his blush was even brighter).  
Sollux grinned when he saw him and held out a hand, "Ready to go, KK?" he asked, and, as if throwing a switch, Karkat's anger evaporated and he smiled shyly, faking confidence as he took Sollux's hand and walked to his car, getting in and disappearing on the horizon without a backward glance.  
John pressed a hand over his heart, "Ah, they grow up so fast." He sighed, pretending to wipe away a tear.  
Before John could think of another witty thing to say that related to his situation, he heard a loud roar that could only be Dave's motorcycle. Once, he asked his friend why he didn't ride that to school instead of the stupid bike, and Dave just shrugged and said, "It's ironic." He wouldn't listen to any protests from John on the subject after that.  
But now he pulled up in front of John's house, pulling on the brakes and putting one foot down to keep his balance. John couldn't help but think about how good the blonde looked in a tux, especially on a motorcycle, with that pose... John blushed and forced the thought from his mind, focusing on the real-life Dave and not the one that filled his imagination.  
"Come on, Egbert!" He shouted with a grin, oblivious to his date's blush, "Don't want to be late!" John smiled and laughed at Dave's behavior and shut the door behind him before running over to the bike.  
"Let me guess, no helmets?" John asked as he sat down behind Dave, who laughed.  
"Helmets? What is this, the 21st century?" he joked, slamming on the gas without waiting for a response. John gasped in surprise and wrapped his arms around Dave's waist to keep himself steady, causing said blonde to smirk as John pulled himself flush against him, too worried about falling off to worry about the methods he used. Admittedly, he had ridden on the bike before, but the idea still freaked him out, which was exactly why Dave had picked him up with his motorcycle.  
The ride was short, too short for Dave and much too short for John, who had just begun to relax and enjoy it. Still, he had to get off once it was stopped, lest he look like an idiot in front of Dave who, as sweet as he can be, would tease you about something for years if he was given the opportunity.  
"Shall we enter as ironically as possible?" Dave asked as soon as they were both standing, holding out his right arm for John to grab. Giggling like a girl on a high, John nodded, deciding to cut his friend some slack as he accepted the arm and he two walked side by side into the school.

_~Cameron, Saturday, 7:14, The Present~_

**(Bet you forgot about this guy, huh? Don't worry, he'll only be here for a minute, then we can get back to the people you actually care about.)**

Cameron was feeling happy for the first time in weeks, and it was causing everyone to worry. His group of "friends", who he knew only hung around him so that they didn't get pummeled, had been whispering about his sudden lighthearted mood and creepy grin all week. They thought he didn't notice, but Cameron makes it his business to know. His father had noticed too, which was saying something considering how little attention he wasted on his son.  
"Where are you going, Cameron? You know you shouldn't be out late with your uh, issues." His father slurred as Cameron approached the front door. The boy in question threw a disgusted look at his father, who was lying on the couch wearing nothing but his soiled underwear and clutching his fourth beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other, probably not even seeing the football game on the TV by this point.  
Cameron gave him a clearly forced smile filled with hate and annoyance, though his father was too drunk to notice. He also didn't notice the gun holster Cameron was wearing or the extra bullets he had crammed into his pockets.  
"Oh, no where important," Cameron said dismissively, ignoring his fathers protests, already opening the door, "Just crashing a party."

**O_O  
(I wonder what he means by that...? ****(Put the pieces together, idiot!)**

_~Dave, Saturday, 7: 15, The Present~_

Concentrating on keeping his heart rate steady and forcing the blush to stay down, Dave almost ran into the wall instead of going through the door way leading to the gym. This made keeping the blush away even harder, as John giggled at him and damn if it wasn't the most perfect sound he had ever heard. Attempting to play it off, Dave stood off the side and gestured to the door way, smirking and even giving a fake bow, causing John to blush.  
Point, Strider.  
Inside the gym, the change was immediate. Where it had been quiet and brightly lit in the hallway, it was all thumping music and flashing lights in here, until it got to the point where you could only see someone's face if the light passed over them or they were right next to you. They had even put in a temporary dance floor with multicolored lights. There was paper hearts and streamers hanging from the ceiling and the snack table, which took up an entire wall, had a chocolate fountain and a chaperon to make sure nobody spiked the drinks, though they obviously had never met Gamzee.  
"It sure is dark in here," Dave remarked somewhat casually, running a hand through his hair, "easy to get lost or separated, we better stay together." He said, smirking at John, who defiantly turned a shade darker, "Saying that," he continued, as if he hadn't seen John, "we should probably try to find someone we know."  
"Well, our job just got a lot easier. I found Vriska and Terezi." John remarked, pointing at a secluded spot against the wall.  
"Really?" Dave asked, looking around for them and immediately wishing he hadn't. Vriska had shoved Terezi against the wall, the brunette forcing her leg in between Terezi's and kissing her forcefully, though not without consent as she already tongue deep based on the look of things.  
"Okay, did not need to see that." Dave said, looking away and blushing fiercely as he grabbed John's hand and dragged him quickly in the opposite direction.  
"Do you think that was the spiked punch acting or that they both actually..." John asked, trailing off awkwardly. Dave hummed softly before answering, "Egbert you are probably the densest person on the planet. They have been driving everyone at the table crazy with their sexual tension. Honestly, it's a relief that this happened." he turned to look at John, "You're telling Kanaya." he said.  
John glared at him, "Why do I have to do it?" he protested, "You know how she gets when an OTP has been realized! It's the only time she acts like a normal teenager!"  
Dave nodded, "Which is exactly why _you_ are telling her and not _me_." he reasoned, signifying that the conversation was over.  
John grumbled curse words under his breath bit followed Dave with little hesitation.  
They weaved and twisted their way through the crowd, looking for familiar faces. They didn't find Kanaya or Karkat (though they saw Sollux running out the exit), but they did find Eridan, Feferi, Aradia (who had come with a muscular guy named Equius), Gamzee, and Vriska and Terezi, who were trying to pretend that their clothes weren't rumpled or that they weren't holding hands under the table (Dave and John snickered and the girls glared at them). At one particularly dull moment, John caved in and called Kanaya up with the good news. He hung up immediately and then complained about his loss of hearing in one ear, which caused Dave to laugh relentlessly (later he would get an angry message from Rose on Pesterchum, who was complaining about having to deal with something called "the feels"). But for now, Dave and John just hung out, drinking the punch, even though they could tell that it had been spiked, as evidence by the high amount of people now making out.  
About four super tiny cups of punch later, Dave began to notice something, "Hey, is it just me, or is the crowd thinning out?" he asked, nudging John in the side with his elbow to get him to look.  
John hummed softly, scanning the crowd now too, "Yeah, actually, it is pretty small. What time is it?"  
Dave pulled out his phone, wincing when he turned it on, regretting his past decision to put it on the highest brightness setting possible, "It's 9: 30."  
John hummed again, louder this time, or perhaps Dave was just able to hear better because there was less people clogging the gym, "A bit early for people to leaving, don't you think?" he added.  
Dave shrugged and pushed away from the wall, stretching him hands above his head, "I wouldn't know, I haven't attended school since I was in the 7th grade."  
Frowning slightly, John moved away from the wall too, "Oh yeah, sorry I keep forgetting."  
"Yeah, my awesome people skills give me the illusion of being wise beyond my years." He grinned.  
John rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile, "Yeah, whatever," he looked around, "Should we stay, seriously, people are practically racing to the door."  
Dave looked over at the doors and, sure enough, people will pushing and shoving, tripping over each other to get out the door. The two watched the hilarious scene for another minute in confusion, until the room was practically devoid of anybody else, save the few people here and there.  
"What the hell was that about?" John said, thinking out-loud.  
"Didn't you get the memo?" said a voice to the left.  
Dave and John whipped their heads around so fast that they nearly got whiplash. Because that voice hadn't been heard for over a month and it still sent shivers down John's spin and made his body stiffen, "Miss me?" Cameron asked, grinning from ear to ear.  
"You!" Dave exclaimed old-school action movie style as he pushed John behind him. Cameron rolled his eyes, "What is this, a cheesy 80's action movie? Be more original." he said, acting as if this was a pleasant conversation between friends even as Dave slowly inched back towards the door, pushing John along behind him.  
"Shut up!" Dave barked, not a drop of fear in his voice. He was too angry for that, "What the hell do you want?"  
Cameron continued to grin, as if this whole thing was just a game, "Oh you know, the usual, money, fame, fortune, and uhh..." he trailed off, pretending to think, "Oh yeah, revenge."  
"For what?" John asked, moving to stand next to Dave, who probably would have glared at him but was locked in an _**Intense Staredown**_ with Cameron.  
"For embarrassing me in front of the entire school and completely demolishing my street cred!" He shouted, hands balling into fists.  
"I only gave you what you deserved!" Dave shouted back, temper flaring. Out of habit, his hand flew to his jacket pocket, but with a jolt realized his mistake. He had left his sword on the counter at home. His blood ran cold.  
Cameron smirked, seeing the realization on Dave's face, "It's hopeless." he sneered, "You can't beat me." And, to emphasize his point, he pulled the single-handed pistol out of its holster, holding it up to his face as if inspecting it.  
Then, with a laugh, he pointed it a John... and pulled the trigger.  
With a cry, Dave jumped at John, pushing him out of the path of the bullet, which narrowly missed his foot, denting the wall behind him instead.  
Grumbling, Cameron emptied the bullet shell and entered another one. He aimed to shoot again but Dave was too fast, running up to him and knocking his feet out from under him and sending Cameron crashing into the wall with one well-placed kick.  
Unfortunately, Cameron managed to keep his grip on the gun firm and swung his arm down at the last second, catching Dave in the back of his head with the butt of the gun. He hissed lowly, touching the spot with one hand, only to bring it away with his finger tips coated with blood.  
"Dave, you okay?" John asked, running to Dave's side with a worried expression.  
Nodding slightly, the blonde turned his attention back to Cameron, who was standing up shakily, blood on the back of his neck, though the hand pointing the gun squarely at Dave's chest was completely stable.  
Dave's eyes widened.  
Cameron grinned and pulled the trigger.

_John, Saturday, ?: ?, The Present_

For one brief moment as the bullet tore through Dave's chest, John had the momentary feeling that time stopped. He didn't see the bullet pass cleanly through his friend and he didn't hear the clang as it hit the stone wall behind him. At that moment Dave just slumped against the wall and bent his head forward to stare at the bright red wound, looking to be in a daze, as if he wasn't even there at all.  
Crying out, John ran to Dave's side, ignoring the sticky wetness that soon soaked his pants. Trying to keep his hands from shaking, John ripped of his jacket and pressed it to Dave's chest, hoping he was doing it right.  
Dave smiled slightly up at him, and John wondered if he could see. He read somewhere that a person can temporarily lose their sight if they receive an injury. Not for the first time, John wished he could take the damned shades off and really see his friend (and definite crush at this point) fully, though he knew he shouldn't. He didn't want to drive Dave away.  
John pushed down hard on the wound with one hand, using the other to fumble for the phone in his pocket. He dialed the first number he saw and began yelling rapidly to someone through the speaker, soon realizing it was Karkat before he started yelling curse words and instructions, all while desperately trying to stop Dave's wound from bleeding out one handed. It must have been a funny scene to watch John imagined, though he knew his friend's life was on the line.  
Suddenly, Dave's smile vanished. John paid him no mind, just now getting the bleeding to slow. He couldn't have known that the very person who had caused this mess was rising from the ground behind him, fumbling for something and then pointing the gun… at John.  
"John!" Dave shouted, but it was too late.  
In one over whelming rush, time lurched forward. John was still yelling at Karkat, worry becoming evident in his voice when he suddenly stopped and turned to see what had happened.  
John saw Dave struggling to move out of the corner of his eye, but he was frozen in place, much too shocked to turn around and force him to stay still.  
He heard a loud 'BANG' as the gun went off, and John gave a small gasp of surprise, barley feeling anything until the last moment, as the bullet hit him in square in the chest and tore out the other side.  
He looked down at the blooming circle of red staining his white shirt and blinked.  
Once.  
Twice.  
And John's entire world tilted and went black.

_~Dave, ?, ?: ?, The Present~_

When Dave woke up, his head was pounding and he doubted he would be able to tell a tree from an apple, though the fact that he could picture them in his mind was probably a good sign. He blinked a few times to clear his vision and was met with a blank expanse of white. Dave panicked for a second, but then the whiteness developed edges and he realized he was in a hospital, noting the stiff covers, firm mattress, and white washed walls.  
He looked over to his left to see if he had a roommate and, to his shock and strange delight, there was a familiar looking boy, probably no older then him, sitting on a matching bed, though his looked significantly more worn. He was awake and was reading a book, not yet having noticed that Dave was awake. The boy looked incredibly pale and skinny and was defiantly a little short, though not unhealthily so. He had long, wild black hair that clearly hadn't been cut in a while and piercing blue eyes framed behind simple black rimmed glasses. His eyes skimmed along the pages and he chewed his lower lip in concentration, seemingly without being aware of the habit.  
Dave snickered at the action. It was so adorable that he couldn't help it. The boy looked up at the sound and his face broke out into a huge grin and he closed the book as he eyed Dave up and down.  
"Hi!" He said, "I've been wondering when you were going to wake up! My name is John Egbert, what's yours?"  
"Dave. Dave Strider." He answered monotonously, ignoring the familiarity associated with the buck toothed grin the kid shot him in response.  
Dave did this for the next few days until he was released. He resisted comforting John with shushes and hugs that he somehow knew would work when he cried over the memory loss they shared. He refused to crawl into the tiny hospital bed with John when they both woke up from horrible nightmares, something about a gym and a guy with a gun as far as he could remember. And he made sure to smother the urge to kiss the boy when he laughed or smiled along with the blush that always appeared when ever he _did_ daydream about kissing John.  
Because they were strangers.  
And that's all they would ever be.  
**(PLEASE READ AUTHOR'S NOTE BELOW)**

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**A/N: This chapter (though rushed) is dedicated to my friend, ThyRoyalAwesomeness ****(I put this here to fuck with her)****, whom I know in real life. I already gave her digital cookies, so I will just leave a jar here for anyone to snack on! *puts jar on the counter and pretends not to notice as the readers eat out of it*  
****~Peace  
****Also, if you want to know what happens next then comment for an epilogue! If I get five votes for one, I will post it! :) Who knows, it might even be a happy ending!  
****And for fun, I'm putting a quote from the comic here: [SPOILER]**

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering ) (er Imperious Condescension  
TG: batterwitch pls help  
TG: my friends are completely insane  
TG: can you throw me back in jail :(  
) (IC: gurl u made your cocoon  
) (IC: DWI  
) (er Imperious Condescension logged the fuck out.


	4. In Which John and Dave Enter College

**This chapter will contain mild DirkJake and the finalizing of my DaveJohn epic twist (that everyone saw coming).  
TW #RedShippings: Eridan x Feferi, Gamzee x Tavros, Equius x Aradia, Vriska x Terezi, Kanaya x Rose, Sollux x Karkat.  
DWI**

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_John, Saturday, Two and a Half Years Later, The Present_

Crowds had always made John nervous, and today was no exception. Though the campus of Skaia University was mostly empty, it being the start of summer break and all, there was still enough people there to make John nervous, but he was secretly glad that he wasn't the only one moving in early.  
There were a lot of strange people moving in though, John thought as he looked over the large box he was carrying. There was a girl with short blonde hair wearing all black, the color making her violet eyes even brighter. She standing next to a girl with waist-length black hair and wire framed glasses. They were talking pretty animatedly to a familiar blonde guy wearing shades, but none of them had made any indication to show that they had seen John as he waked past, trying not to stare out of sheer curiosity.  
The rest of the short walk to his room was spent thinking about that blonde guy he had seen. He was so familiar, and a name was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn't say it and it was driving him crazy, he was usually so good with faces and names.  
Deciding as he entered his room to forget about it and let the answer come naturally, John set the box down on his bed and looked around the room for his cousin, Jake, who was helping him move in as his father had been called into work for an emergency that had to be dealt with.  
"Jake?" he called. He said it loud enough to hear from next door, as he hadn't expected the practically empty room to echo so much.  
"In here!" Jake answer came muffled through the bathroom door, "I'll be right out!" he promised, and John nodded, resisting the urge to facepalm at his own behavior, as Jake didn't have x-ray vision so he couldn't see him, "Also, there's a note for you on the bed!" Jake said, saving John the trouble of answering.  
"Okay, thanks!" he yelled back, spotting the crisp white paper on the bed. John picked it up and rolled his eyes so hard that he swore the people on state over felt it.

**Son.  
If you are reading this, it means that you have now moved out of the house and are starting college and living on your own. You are now a man.  
As such, you are entitled to the contents of this box.  
I am so proud of you.  
\- Dad**

Shoving the note in his pocket, John reached for the neatly packaged box that was lying on his bed. It was pretty small compared to some of the others he and Jake had lugged into the room, but it was the perfect size if it contained what John suspected it did.  
Sure enough, when he opened the box (as dramatically as possible), it contained a newly bought and spotless white fedora, exactly like the one his dad wore regularly.

Instead of rolling his eyes (which he was sorely tempted to do), John put the hat back in the box, closed the box, and then proceeded to repeatedly slam his head against the wall until Jake came out of the bathroom.  
"Gadzooks!" he cried, pulling John away from the wall with one rough pull, "John what the hell are you doing? Have you flipped your cuckoo fruitcake switch?" He shouted, shaking John by the shoulders.  
"Jake no, I'm fine," he insisted, slapping his cousins arms away and handing him the box with the note. Jake, skeptical looking, took the note and read it, smirking by the time he finished, which did nothing to dull his reaction once he opened the box. He paused for a moment, inspecting the contents, and promptly burst out laughing, clutching at his sides and falling to the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks.

John was not impressed, holding the box in one hand while crossing his arms and glaring down at his cousin, who gave no indication that he would be stopping anytime soon. Actually, Jake probably would have kept laughing on the floor for hours on end, had the door not opened at that exact moment.

"Uh, am I... interrupting anything?" a voice asked hesitantly from the door way.  
Jake stopped laughing at the announcement of another person, but he was gasping for air on the floor like a dead fish and was therefore unable to say anything.  
John however, being perfectly capable of breathing, snapped to attention at the sound of the voice, so breathtakingly familiar, just like the man using it.  
It was the strange blonde man from before, only the sense of déjà vu was much stronger now and even more infuriating, if that was at all possible.  
"No, it's nothing." John explained, holding his hands up in what he hoped was an apologetic gesture. The blonde raised an eyebrow at him, just barely visible over the top of his ridiculously large shades.  
"So you're look-alike is doing a dying fish impression for a perfectly sane reason then?" he inquired, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.  
John grinned at him, perfectly at ease and comfortable with his roommate, despite not knowing him at all. Briefly, John entertained the idea that they had met before his amnesia, but shrugged the idea away. He didn't like thinking about the accident, or how many people he had left behind and disappointed after the amnesia.  
Once, he had asked his dad how it happened and was told that it was partly due to "shock" and partly because of a "traumatic event" that he wanted to forget. His dad refused to give specifics, no matter how much he had begged.  
"He's my cousin, and he was just laughing way too hard." John said, coming back to reality and taking care to punctuate the last three words in the sentence and glare at Jake.  
The blonde nodded, "An uncontrollable case of the giggles, huh? I feel ya."  
John rocked back on forth on his heels, feeling awkward and impatient as the blonde set what appeared to be the last of his boxes on his bed.  
"So," he said, standing up straight and wiping his hands on his pants, "I guess you're my roommate, right?"  
John nodded ever so slightly and grinned, "Yep, I'm John Egbert."  
"Nice to meet you, Egderp," the blonde said, turning to face him and sticking out a hand to shake, as if he hadn't just fucked up John's last name on purpose, "I'm Dave Strider." But he received no response from John, who has stopped listening at the mention of "Egderp", instead staring at the hand Dave had offered in silence, a blank look of realization on his face. Sure, he looked like an idiot but right now, John couldn't have cared less.  
Because he remembered.  
He remembered everything. Nic Cage (oh joy), Pesterchum, Rose, Jade, Dave, the accident, Cameron, Dave saving him, all his new friends, the Valentine's dance, the cakes his dad didn't make anymore, the years of bullying and the mean nicknames that sounded so sweet and endearing coming from Dave.  
Dave, who was standing in front of him after two and a half years, who was looking at him with a genuinely concerned expression on his face. And John, so overjoyed, forgot one small detail.  
Dave didn't remember him.  
"Dave!" he shouted, grinning from ear to ear as he launched himself into the blonde's arms, wrapping his skinny arms around his neck. He buried his face into Dave's shoulder.  
Feeling more than a little uncomfortable, Dave ever so slowly wrapped his arms around his weird roommate and hugged back. After several long minutes of long awkward bro-hugging in which John tried not to cry into Dave's shirt, he finally pulled back. And if things were awkward before, it was nothing compared to the atmosphere now.  
John, who had been smiling all derp-like before, was now starting to regret his decision to hug his bro. It was clear by the blanker-then-usual look on Dave's face that he had no idea who John was in the least, and probably thought he was weird as hell now.  
Face burning partly in embarrassment and partly at the romantic feelings he remembered having and still felt, John stepped back, trying to put as much distance as possible before him and Dave in the suddenly tiny room.  
Briefly, he wondered where Jake had gone, as they were now the only two in the room. Before he could wonder further if his cousin had superpowers or not, Dave reached out, as if trying to grab something that was well beyond his reach.  
"Dave," John asked hesitantly, slowly inching closer, "What are you doing?"  
His voice seemed to click something in Dave's brain because, as if pulling a string, he dropped his hand, standing up so straight that it hurt John's back just to think about it.  
"John?" Dave asked, looking dazed, even going as far to sway on his feet slightly, "Is that you?"  
"Yeah, it's me. Maybe you should sit down...?" John offered helpfully, already steering Dave to the bed and almost completely ignoring the question he had been asked. After making sure Dave was steady, John moved to step back but was stopped by Dave, who grabbed on tightly to the sleeve of his Ghost Busters t-shirt.  
"Dave, what's wro-" he started, only to be cut off by the very blonde he was trying to comfort. Pull on the shirt harshly, Dave caused John to stumble and land, rather effectively, on Dave's lap, immediately being wrapped in a hug before he could even think about getting up.  
"I thought you were dead," he mumbled into John's shoulder, as they had shifted positions so that, if Dave leaned back, John would be straddling his friend, "There was blood everywhere... so much blood." he pulled John closer.  
Feeling a pang of sympathy, or rather feeling his heart break, John hugged Dave tightly, running a hand lightly through his blonde hair, "It's okay, we survived... we're both alive." he assured Dave, making soft shushing sounds like he remembered Karkat doing often to him when he was stressed. At first, all Dave did was shake and make choking sounds as he tried to hold the tears back, but slowly he calmed down and stilled until neither moved solely because they liked the feeling of the other pressing against them.  
"You better?" John asked tenderly, pulling back hesitantly and looking at Dave's face. Instead of answering yes or no, Dave sighed heavily and pressed his forehead to John's shoulder again.  
"You know I love you, right?" he said once he finally pulled away.  
John just smiled, "I know, I feel the same way."  
Sure, it wasn't the most romantic confession ever, but those simple words seemed to say everything that they had been trying to communicate for over two years now. Besides, neither was really good with admitting emotions through words.  
So they didn't.  
They kissed instead.  
It was short, sweet, simple and to the point, conveying emotions when words so obviously could not explain and oh-so-perfect.  
Well, at least at first.  
Then John reached up and removed his glasses for easier access, deepening the kiss by wrapping his arms around Dave's neck and threading his hands through the blonde strands. Dave hummed into the kiss and moved his hands down to John's waist, using his tongue to part John's lips so as to enter his mouth.  
Eventually, they pulled apart, both breathing heavily.  
"That... was... amazing." John gasped between gulps of air, still grinning. In response, Dave flipped them over on the bed, pressing John into the bare mattress and worming his way between his thighs.  
"Yeah, it was." Dave agreed, smirking.  
They both leaned in at the same time.

Meanwhile, outside, laying under a random tree on campus and looking up at the light being filtered through the leaves, Jake and Dirk cuddled next to each other, both boys smirking.  
"Do you think it worked, Dirk?" Jake asked, lightly tracing circles on his boyfriend chest through the material of his shirt.  
"Positive, Jake. I'm absolutely certain that our two dorks are currently making out in their dorm room." Dirk said, putting an arm around Jake's shoulders and grinning.  
Jake chuckled lightly then stilled, "Still, I feel bad about hacking the university's computer to make them room together."  
"Don't worry about it," Dirk soothed, now running his hand up and down Jake's arm softly, "They just needed a little... push." he finished, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.  
Laughing a bit louder now, Jake calmed and curled up against Dirk's side, both quiet for the moment. Then, after a few more minutes of much appreciated cuddling, Dirk spoke, "Wanna go walk in on them for blackmail material?"  
There was a pause.  
"Sure, why not." Jake agreed, already getting up before helping Dirk to stand too.  
They laughed all the way to the dorms.

Short Summary of the Future:  
In the end, Dirk and Jake never did get their blackmail material. By the time they got to the room, they were laughing so hard that Dave and John knew they were there, giving them enough time to put their shirts back on, which was a disappointment for everyone.  
John and Dave stayed together all through college and maintained friendships with Rose and Jade and all of the "trolls", who, coincidentally, all went to the same college.  
About three years after college, John, who became a scientist, and was studying cloning, and Dave, who made movies about Hella Jeff and Sweet Bro, ran away for three days and got married the ironic way, meaning they tied the knot alone in Vegas above a casino with two random strangers as the witnesses.  
None of their friends were impressed.  
Eridan and Feferi had an off again on again relationship in which they both fooled around with Sollux, including some rather nasty threesomes which are best left forgotten. In the end though, they settled down, got married, and had twins, two girls who are complete opposites. Entity, who takes after her mom, happy and kind to everyone, and Faith, who takes after her dad, stubborn and sometimes condescending  
Gamzee was forever-alone for a while, but eventually began dating Tavros. Neither has so far shown any interest in marriage to the other, but they both secretly fantasize about proposing to the other.  
Equius and Aradia bought an apartment together and soon began feeling more then flushed for each other, getting married after three years of dating. They had one kid, a boy named Eric, who takes after his dad both in attitude and freakish strength (no one was very happy when he punched a hole in his computer screen).  
Vriska and Terezi were even more back and forth then Eridan and Feferi, though they settled down much sooner. They married and, though the marriage is sometimes rough and challenging, they are both happy and have even adopted a girl named Sunny, who takes after both of her parents (but mostly Vriska).  
Kanaya and Rose settled down together and married (after they tracked down and beat the shit out of John and Dave for ditching them). The wedding was beautiful and simple and all of their friends were there (hint hint) and they adopted three kids, two boys, Simon and Omar, both of which take after Rose, and a girl named Sophie, who takes after Kanaya.  
Karkat fell in love with Sollux, who, after a long and rather passionate emotional display from Karkat, proposed. They soon settled down together in a quaint farmhouse, where they raised their two kids, a boy and a girl, Cameron and Stacie.  
John and Dave, after recovering from Rose and Kanaya's harsh beating, adopted one kid, a girl named Casey (for ironic purposes of course) who grew up to be a music theory teacher at the same high school where the whole shooting/memory loss fiasco happened, and was the founder of the statewide anti-bullying association among other things.  
**Note: Jade and Nepeta are not listed above because I refuse to ship them with each other. If you have to know, they both teamed up and created the biggest and most successful animal rescue center in the world. It was amazing. They both died alone, but happy, and gave the business to their adopted children, who shall remain nameless.**

_**~Le Fin~**_

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**A/N: HA! I said it would be a happy ending!  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
*clears throat awkwardly and sets down a pie to distract everyone who saw that*  
Hope you enjoyed!  
*claps slowly***


End file.
